Varadero, sunset, 2018. I have named this woman Beyonce, because you could feel her charisma three kilometres away from her. Amazing.
I went to the kitchen to make coffee. There
were only three capsules left in the dose. Well, OK then, I said and opened the
internet. After a few clicks, I told my man that we were going into the town, because
there is no more capsules and there will be no more of them, ever.
Does this make me grown up? It grinds the coffee beans and makes a good espresso. Does not create plastic waste. This is how I want to start next year.
It has been in my mind for a longer time as a request to handle. But I do not have the skill to deal with lever coffee machine and those real ones were expensive for me. I have been preparing for that purchase for some time, and since the holidays did not require to touch this part of savings, after being safely home I could have done this step that morning.
Dessert at a Russian place, Tabarish, Havana. "No pancakes, Bliny." As the waiter corrected my request:)
This year, I dropped two cigarette buds on the ground. I remember exactly that they were two, because the situation in which it was so unfortunate that I could not just give them away properly. No option to put them in the bag and then into the bin. I am not proud of this.
Plans are huge, but my head is empty, jet-lagged. Tiding up my notes and photos from the holidays. Will put a mask on my face. 10 years younger in 30 minutes is a good deal;) The best ideas come to me when having a mask on my face.
Below are the photos you liked the most on Instagram this year.
Pictures - not so special.
I believe you have liked the stories connected to them?
Bali – throwback to my first ever sunset on this island
Cuba - Havana
Ružomberok - special hotel, breakfast
Varadero and Santas chilling there on December 25th
The Cars and story of the proposal from the filling station worker
The toner on my legs, on carpet, on walls in the office. Vacuuming at 7:30 am.
Hydratation is a serious job to be done and courier in shock as he saw me in my giraffe covered robe
And singing loudly in public transport
I will write you everything about Cuba, in the best possible way. Will try. And answer all the questions you wrote me. There is so much to tell. So far just a sneak peek, will tell you what is going on in my mind since we came back. And has been going on in my head all the time in Cuba.
In the morning I have put the water from the washbasin in a cup and drunk it. Made a coffee, breakfast. There was a bread. Cheese. Vegetables and fruits. In the fridge, there is food.
I have set the temperature in living room as requested for my comfort (turned the heating on). Switched the computer and radio on. Checked the internet, reviews, prices, compared, ordered, added accessories, coffee beans, done. Read some news that my friends have posted. Sent a few photos. Switched the Christmas tree and all the lights on. Relaxed a bit.
We have put on clean and warm clothes, got into the car and went to town.
And on our way to the town we did see cars - made in this century. A lot of them. Lights on, shops were opened ant they did have groceries in them.
“We are all millionaires here.” I said spontaneously.
This is what I brought from Cuba.
According to all definitions of sufficiency, trying to avoid the cliche about appreciating basic things.
I really thing I was thankful for what I have. But since we are back, things are different. We are so wealthy. Millionaires. Even without the coffee machine.
Resolutions? Of course there will be some. But just for a pleasure of our mind, because we do have all we need. And much much more.
Resolutions would be just details to spice up my life a bit.
To take care about myself a bit more, as I believe it will make me a better human being and this will have positive impact on others also. Me being better me.
And there is one more I will make. More
important than others. I do believe, we should take care of those,, who do
not have, what we have. It’s our duty, I feel. Don’t know precisely how, I do
have some ideas already, not just detailed plans yet.
I have decided for myself to believe it. It has passed my inner test. Two questions:
1. Will this make you a better human being? Answer: Yes. (If it works and I choose the right people).
2. Will you hurt anybody believing in it? Answer: No.
Even if it may not be true, I decided to go for it and see what happens.
Sometimes I use the word "sfotrovatiet". (the word means when you talk like every old person ever) My man once asked me what exactly it means.
Give up on dreams, desires, a better being, a better world, everything. It means to give up all of these.
I do not accept that. I will give him/her a chance a few more times, will try to help, but if it turns out to be irreversible, we will silently disappear from each others lives.
What exactly does it mean „sfotrovatiet“?
It's not about age.
Sometimes it happens to 20 years olds, sometimes it does not happen after one
is 50 or older. Result of my unprofessional observations says - It's not about age, at all.
We have a coffee together. One says:
"This drink does not taste the way it used to" - alert. That's where it usually begins. Overall, everything is different than it used to be.
It´s worse. Everything. Undoubtedly.
Everything was better before. I'm trying to
make a joke, it still can only be a current mood, not a life
If there is a speech about politics (I really
do not get the point), men are all the same (specifically do not get this one),
the young people? They are terrible. And they stare at their phones all the
time. And they do not appreciate anything as they should.
Well, maybe this is the reason why I stare at my phone so much? I really like to be named "the young one":D So I look at my phone a lot. Then I feel I belong to the group "the young people" and it is all good for me. Back to the coffee where we drink something that does not taste as good as it used to before.
“Come on,” I try to change the topic, “we did not appreciate things when we were young, exactly as they do now. Do you want to know what I did to my first classy white jeans?”
One start to comment how everything is more expensive now than it was before. And how ridiculous it is. How much for this drink? Unbelievable.
"The rich people are rich because they steal, they do not deserve this, that is unfair." I do not believe what I hear. Then something about medicine they take, illnesses and diagnosis and what catastrophic happened to someone.
"And the job is terrible. Boss – completely wrong." – one says.
"So, leave." I answer.
"Oh, like if it was so easy." one replies.
"I know it is not, but the longer you stay the harder it will be."
"It's everywhere, bosses like this."
Well, I don’t think so, but if you say so. “As you say. So, you can work hard now and in few years you will be the Boss. The first good boss. Be it.” I try to motivate and encourage.
“Impossible, there is always someone above you who is a mess, impossible to deal with.” One replies.
"Make your own company. Choose people and it will all be good. “
This is a break point. If it is only a bad mood, this argument will cause him to reply – “it’s not so bad after all, I am just tired.”
“Are you insane? You think it’s so easy?”
Well, I am totally sure it’s not easy. Not at all. But the time you now spend hating you can invest to research and preparation for this step. But I stay quiet. It does not make any sense to talk any more.
I know it´s not about me, but do you think they
know it? That they do and say exactly what their parents used to do and say,
and it made them mad when they were young?
You try to motivate, encourage, lift, help, but if it doesn’t work a few times, you give up on them, too.
I can help, but I am not able to decide it and make it for you.
Well, you have promised “its all good” and now you just complain all the time?
Don’t worry, we are getting to the point. It was just a sketch of the situation:D
And those who did not give up. Those who can do amazing things, go chasing their dreams, and really have fun in life. I do not say they have no hard times. But they do fight. They get along with it. You see them fighting peacefully. Maybe you do not know where they are going exactly, but it's inspiring to see that they know. And that you see how they are moving forward.
If everything goes as planned, I'll fly away tonight.
Keep your fingers crossed for me, please.
We go to the place, where the weather is warm these days. So we will be in contact at the end of 2018 – beginning of 2019. I will have a “blog break”. Not that I could not turn on my computer on vacation:D But we go to a country, where there is no internet. Well, will probably find some, but not reliable connection.
It all happened by a nice accident. And than it was accompanied by a lot of misunderstandings, unpredictable changes, not so logical mistakes. We have bought the flight in April. But it was cancelled. You book again. Different dates. You re-book the accommodation. There is a weak internet, so you wait a few days for the confirmation. Finally, you got it. You go buy the airplane tickets. Not available any more – these dates sold out. So this whole circle, again. Different dates – re-book – confirmation. Insurance, money, vaccines, visa, electric cables, everything.
The lady at the embassy not wiling to give you visas, because on the passport photo your hair is dark, in reality you are blond. Negotiation. You finally get the stamp. But with recommendation, that you should turn back to black, it suits you better. Well, thank you.
Someone tells you that USD is the money you can use without any problems. You do trust that person, so you do not fact-check. My bad, of course. You order special nominals, pick them up, you are proud of yourself of how smoothly this went. On Thursday evening you discover that better exchange rate is for EUR and also, if you change USD you are charged with 10-13% tax fee. You don’t give up, you still have half day to change the money back.
was a certain point when I was tired. I told my man:
“If we cancel the accommodation now, they will return 100% of the money without any cancellation fee. We do not have to push this. It’s becoming too complicated. Everything. I don’t know, its too much, maybe we should just leave it..” (and you continue giving up)
I have talked to a good friend as well.
And to my mum, that its more complicated than I thought at the beginning.
Him: “It has been your dream your whole life. We have gone this far already, this year. We are going.”
Friend: “You know what? Everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong already. It’s all done, once you will be there everything will be all right. “
Mum: “I am proud of you for chasing your dreams. Your soul needs it. I have a very few people like this around me. You must go. I am happy for you. You will tell me everything when you come back.”
None of them will benefit from it.
Exact opposite, they will all lose something.
He will pay his own money to join me. And despite that, he helped me do it.
My friend will be out of cosmetic supplies the month before Christmas:D
And for my mum it means, that I will not be with her by the Christmas dinner. And there was no “I told you to stay home, this is ridiculous.” Exact opposite. She said she is proud of me. She said I must go.
It’s very extraordinary to be surrounded by people like this. It does not happen to everyone. Friends like this.
As this is my last blog-post before Christmas, I would like to wish you something.
Don’t lose faith and go fulfil your dreams. I wish that from the bottom of my heart to you and also to myself.
Don’t give up on life, don’t give up on yourself.
Do believe, that the world can be good. (you know, after all, it’s all good;)
Do have the energy to do something about the world being a better place. Just because it’s the right thing to do.
Don’t lose yourself on the way.
And choose wisely when choosing people around you. Choose the ones with their own path, dreams, power. Admire them. Learn from them. Those are the ones that will remind you of your dreams when in hard times you forget.
And finally, quite selfishly, I wish to myself the smooth journey (both ways) and let all be all right. It has cost a lot already, also lot of time, peace, energy and it was a huge test. Keep your fingers crossed for us:)